Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Who are the Joneses anyway?

I've always heard you can't keep up with the Joneses. And well, I'm clearly not.

It's hard sometimes having to make adult choices. I'm looking at Christmas in a mere 7 weeks. I have some ideas of what I'm doing for everyone. But it's not finalized. I've even started picking up some bargain deals for the kids. I don't ask what they want. That way I don't feel bad that I can't afford it. And then there's my want list.

Wants versus needs. Sometimes I miss getting to fill the want list.  When I was single in my first life, I made good money and had enough for all my needs and most of my wants. This year it's about fulfilling my needs, not my wants. And so, I'll keep wearing my old Nikes (the hole isn't too big) and I'll deal with the out of style clothes. I pretend no one really notices what I wear anyway. Black pants and basic shirts are my wardrobe of choice. I own 3 pairs of black pants and 2 black skirts as my basic bottoms. I have one pair of jeans for jeans day. They are next on my list as I really need a second pair. The current pair is looking really faded and I'm afraid it will get a hole soon. And so I am to the point of needing, not wanting, a new pair of jeans.

It's tough when you want what you see others having.  But then I think of days gone by and how past generations of women owned 1-2 dresses and that was their wardrobe. I have no room for complaint.

It's all a temporary cash flow issue. Of course it would be rectified if my ex chose to do the right thing and support his children, but our 6th court visit is looming and he's still not, so I will continue to do the best I can on my own salary. Once several debts get checked off, I'll make it. Somehow.

This post is more or less just to say it sucks not having all that you want and sometimes not even what you need. But despite the tight situation right now, I'll make it. Someway, somehow, this period will pass. Because I know it's somewhat temporary, I'm not cashing in my retirement. I'm still contributing extra. I will need it more then than now. I'm not running up my credit cards. I'm paying them in full each month. I'll be ok. I'm just cash poor right now.

This isn't the tone of my usual posts, but perhaps this will resonate with some of you out there.  We will get through this together.

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